I know that I will never get the dishes or the laundry done. I know that the layer(s) of dust I just cleared will return faster than I would like. I know that the floor will need to be swept and mopped again tomorrow and that it likely won’t happen for another week instead. I know that I probably had too much coffee. I know that I complain more than I am thankful. I know that my ability to pray and believe in a merciful god left me when I was too young to understand and I know that when the time is right I will reconcile that. I also know that time may never come. I know I am loved beyond measure in all the ways possible by people both known and unknown to me. I know that I have today and that may be all I have. I know that there are poems inside me that may never be written. I know there are poems I have written that have hurt someone, and maybe healed someone. I know that my to-read list will grow infinitely and I will never finish all of these books. I know that I will try anyway. I know that my children are the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given. I know that I will never stop loving them or protecting them or comforting them, even when I am dust. I know that I make my dad proud, my mom too, even if both of them are too far to reach. I know that I have the greatest love of my life and that even in times of struggle, we are both exactly where we belong. I know there are friends who need me but may not know how to ask. I know there are friends who no longer need me too and that’s okay. I know that life will always be difficult because there are too many variables at play, always. I know there are things outside of my control and as many things within my control. I know sometimes I can’t tell the difference. I know I am not perfect and I know I don’t need to be. I know I am right here, right now and that’s I all I can be. Present.
Janaya Martin 