I am nearing the end of my maternity leave and I am equally ecstatic and frightened. This cocoon has been so cozy. What if my wings are still wet, what if one is good but the other is only half-formed and I just fly in circles or maybe I don’t fly at all? All of this time has allowed me to reflect and perhaps, has also made me a little crazy…
Today is a good day, because I know what day it is and let me tell you, that is pretty amazing. I am so envious of those women who have multiple little ones, are stay-at-home moms who know what day it is EVERY day and have the ability to get showered, curl their hair, put on some makeup and somehow manage to have clean homes. Like, what are you on? For real! I can do one of those things each day. Just one. And probably only half way. No shame in my game though.
Not too long ago I was a single mother of one. I lived in a two-bedroom apartment, had a menial full-time job and a lackluster artistic life. While I wanted more, I was content chugging along like that. Fast-forward 5 years, a couple of loves, two kids, and a new job later and here I am. A self-published poet, mother of three, homeowner, host of a successful reading series and engaged to my first love.
When I return to work in two weeks, it will be to a new position and a new department, a promotion. I’ll even have my own office. My littlest guy will go to daycare and I’ll go back to the reality of trying to make each side of me work well with the others.
I’ll be integrating back into normal (for me) life, learning a new job, scheduling readings, marketing myself and my book, trying to work on book number two, keeping up with the kiddos, getting married, and maybe, just maybe trying to have a social life. Looking back on all of the things I have accomplished I know, no matter what, I can make things happen, but how?
Wish me luck!