Several months ago my publisher, bless her heart, had the amazing idea of combining my book baby journey with my baby baby journey and I was all, “What a great idea!” However after agreeing, my brain was all crickets. Nothing came to me. For days I sat staring at blank page or a blank screen. I’m not even certain that what I’m writing now will become anything.
The truth is, this book was, just like each of my pregnancies were – unplanned. Sorry kids. My thoughts about myself as a writer are very similar to the thoughts I have about being a parent; I never feel qualified or good enough to do either, but I also can’t imagine myself as anything else. My children and my poetry (and my love Roberto) are what make my days worth living.
Sometimes it feels like my whole life could be used as a Scared Straight after school special. I am the woman those people complain about – an awful, un(der)educated, poor, single mother who thinks the world owes her something.
Uh, yeah: a chance.
For years and years, no one was giving me a chance, the rejection slips can prove that. So, being the crazy fool I am, I took one by myself, on myself. I said, “Hey self, how much longer are you going to let that dream sit there without trying to fulfill it?” I’ve been on the edge of doing for way too long. I needed to just do and I did. Now here I am with bills and invoices and fears up the yahoo, but I am also the most happy and fulfilled I have ever been. Ever.
The headstone of my favorite writer is inscribed with the words, “DON’T TRY” Most people misunderstand its meaning, but it’s really quite simple: Don’t try. Do. The End. Kitties and bunnies and unicorns will fall from the sky. Maybe even some money too. Okay, that’s a lie, but life is so much better when you are doing. Right?
So, here’s where things are at right now.
- My book was supposed to go to print last week in order to maintain our March 1 (my birthday!) launch date. Yeah, that didn’t happen. However, I’m hoping like heck I can get it going this week so we’re only a week behind schedule.
- Yesterday I realized that I’ve had my due date wrong this whole time. So while I’ve been wishing I was MORE pregnant than I am, I’m really LESS pregnant than I thought I was. Cool.
- Next Friday I’m being interviewed about my book and reading series (whoa) as part of THIS project.
- The February 18 AND March 24 Writers Read events are booked!! You should join the group to stay up to date.
- Pre-orders for both the print and e-book versions of Tiptoe and Whisper went live this week AND people are ordering it!! Fa-reaking-out!
There’s more I’m sure but, baby brain…