The Struggle is Real

Over the course of the past few weeks, I have been struck by the kindness of my friends.  Their support for my project, their encouragement of my dream(s), their willingness to share my campaign and ask people to contribute.  With 17 days left and thousands to go, I am a ball of nerves.  I’ve met a few people recently who are taken aback at the price I am paying to publish this book, telling me it could be done for $2,000.  This information is both helpful and not.  The dotted line has been signed, the first invoice has already begun to collect interest.  This is happening, in this way, even though everything inside me is screaming, “YOU IDIOT!”

My inner voices are having a field day.  This failure is proof that I am no good. The lack of interest is proof that I am no good.  On and on and on.  SHUT UP.

Although, a few really great things have happened because of this whole thing.  1.  I met a few awesome and established writers via Facebook.  2.  I was added to a secret group of writers, who have been welcoming, encouraging and nothing short of amazing.  3.  I’ve been sending more poems out.  More these past few weeks than I have in the past year.

Number three has been a struggle as well.  So many places say, “No previously published work, including social media sites, personal blogs, etc.”  How on Earth will this ever work?  I’m still waiting for my first acceptance email.  And while I’m waiting I still need to generate interest my work, how can I do that if I can’t post anything?


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